If I die, and my partner or my family are wondering if they should move on and be happy– the answer is no. Be miserable; cry every day; wear nothing, but black; and never forget me! In “Sonnet 71”, Shakespeare, with all of his romance and selfless love, seems to disagree.
“Sonnet 71”
by William Shakespeare
No longer mourn for me when I am dead
Then you shall hear the surly sullen bell
Give warning to the world that I am fled
From this vile world, with vilest worms to dwell:
Nay, if you read this line, remember not
The hand that writ it; for I love you so
That I in your sweet thoughts would be forgot
If thinking on me then should make you woe.
O, if, I say, you look upon this verse
When I perhaps compounded am with clay,
Do not so much as my poor name rehearse.
But let your love even with my life decay,
Lest the wise world should look into your moan
And mock you with me after I am gone.
Then you shall hear the surly sullen bell
Give warning to the world that I am fled
From this vile world, with vilest worms to dwell:
Nay, if you read this line, remember not
The hand that writ it; for I love you so
That I in your sweet thoughts would be forgot
If thinking on me then should make you woe.
O, if, I say, you look upon this verse
When I perhaps compounded am with clay,
Do not so much as my poor name rehearse.
But let your love even with my life decay,
Lest the wise world should look into your moan
And mock you with me after I am gone.
From this vile world…
“Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.” –Norman Cousins
So, maybe Shakespeare has a point. Someone who truly loves you, would want you to forget any memories that might give you pain. And I suppose if I’m dead and my partner wants to move on with someone else– I can’t be killed twice!